Day 134- Where PIGS come from...

Lydia's lemonade dress is officially a goner.  I had "almost" finished her dress. I only needed to add a zipper and it was done.  But, then I started looking at the dress and realized something was wrong. I had put the ruffles on incorrectly, and so instead of putting in the zipper, I painstakingly pulled the dress apart, and consulted the pattern to see how it could be corrected, and corrected. But it still wasn't quite right. I had never done what the pattern asked for, and I wasn't really sure how to make it look right. So,  I did more research, and I ripped it out, again, and again, and again; each time hoping that the next time, it would be right. But, it just wasn't.  I met failure today, face to face, and although I fought the good fight, it became clear that no matter how much time, energy or learning I devoted to the task, I was beat and that dress was never going to look right. 

If I really stop to think about it, failure is always an option, but it's just not an option I readily embrace.  But, when you are trying to expand a skill set, either by trial or with the use of explicit directions, the chance that you will stumble or falter are exponentially higher than if you are doing what you have always done. I am okay with that, the learning process can be difficult and time consuming. A conversation a few weeks ago about failure necessitated that I define for myself the concept of failure.  I realized that much of what is referred to as "failure", is in my mind more akin to a stumble or a misstep.  It might take a little undoing and more time, but recovery is usually possible and most often an end product is still obtainable. A real failure,  from my perspective,  is a breakdown in process or outcome that is so significant that there is no reason to even continue forward.

The trouble is, I really didn't want to give up. After all, I had made Lydia's blue dress from the same pattern and had absolutely no issues. I figured I was just missing one trick, or step, or something, anything but I just couldn't do it! Today after spending the time it would have taken me to make 4 more little dresses, I finally admitted failure.  With much muttering and swearing, I put the dress in a plastic grocery sack and tied it up tight.  And then before actually committing it to the trash,  I decided to throw it in the back of the closet to one day be salvaged. But today is not that day.